When you lose everything you had……

You see, Patricia, everything changes when you get old. Your adult kids become the parents and you become the child. They make decisions that they think are best for you – like you can’t stay home alone any more. Or that you can’t drive and they take away the keys to the car.

Yes, I have fallen and broken my hip. But I didn’t want to sell my house and go somewhere permanently. When they were trying to talk me into coming here, they said it would be good because  they live nearby and could come to visit a lot. And the grandkids could come over, too. And that there would be lots of activities for me to  do here.

But my grandchildren and their parents are all so busy. The kids work at the ice cream store and they have all of their activites.

It is hard to adjust to new surroundings. Sharing a room with a stranger, not watching television in your own living room, not having my own tea cups and coffee pot, other people knowing all of your business – these are some of the things that are hard for me.

I know that life is not perfect. But I don’t know where I belong anymore. Sometimes, I feel that I don’t fit in anywhere.

What I wouldn’t give to be back in my own place, reading my magazines, inviting my neighbors over for a visit, decorating my house for the holidays. I guess what they say is true…….Acceptance is the key for peace. I just have to accept that I am here now because I can not take care of myself. That I am old although I don’t feel old. I am 85.

 

 

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